Our work is finally done and we traveled back to Seoul. We stayed at the Intercontinental Hotel Coex which is on top of a large shopping mall. We arrived at about 5:00PM and we had dinner reservations at 7:00 in one of the restaurants in the hotel. My colleague, who I will call Rodney, and I had two hours to put to good use. We went down to the mall to get some gifts for our families. I found some stainless steel chopsticks for the Chief because she hates the bamboo type that is found at most Asian restaurants. She hates wood in her mouth… she is married after all.
We finish shopping and go and explore the Buddhist temple across the street from the hotel. It was neat; the monks were playing drums and ringing bells. They have rhythm.
After this we meet for dinner. There are two people from the United States, Rodney and I, and 6 Koreans. The owner of the company, 3 salesmen for said company, one girl from marketing and one girl in logistics. The buffet is great and the people are fun to talk to. The buffet contains many more things than I expected. Some of the highlights include: crab legs, stuffed broiled lobster, sushi, various salads, cooked to order steaks, pastas, lamb chops, salmon, and many other dishes. A picture of a small part of the restaurant buffet is here. We drank wine, beer and soju with dinner. This night was planned to be a night of drinking and camaraderie between our two groups. The Big Boss told us that the drinking at dinner was round 1 of 3 rounds.
When we finished eating we said good bye to the BB and the girls since they were not going to attend the evening’s festivities. I have had at least two beers, 2+ glasses of wine and 2 shots of 40 proof soju and one shot of 20 proof soju. It was a long dinner but my liver was not up to the task of eliminating enough of the alcohol. Needless to say I was not feeling too bad.
The 5 of us jumped into two taxis and rode about 15 minutes. We were let out and walked down this alley between two main roads. We went inside a door and down some stairs to a kind of club like scene. The only difference is there were no people anywhere except for a guy with a clipboard and wearing a CIA style headset. He yelled some stuff in Korean, he had to yell to be heard over the music, and we were led to a small room with a large granite table and couches with pillows lining the walls. Of course there is a karaoke machine in one corner and a bathroom in another corner. I did not sing because of a previous experience playing Sing Star with co-workers. After the song I sang is finished you are rated on how well you did. Some of the ratings are: Excellent, Good, Average, Poor, Bad, and then there is what I received: Tone Deaf. My co-workers had never seen a rating that low before. So does that make me the best bad singer?
Anyway, I did not sing. Next they brought in some bottles of beer and at least two pint bottles of whiskey. At this point I knew that I needed to be careful about how much I drink. If I drink too much the room starts spinning and humor results, for everyone else.
Our Korean friends explain about the club and how it works. Basically the club has two different types of girls: Korean and Russian. I’m not sure why there are Russian girls but that is what they have. The club will bring in a line of girls and you pick who you like based totally on 20 second of looking with no talking. The first group of girls contained 3 Russian girls and 3 Korean girls. Since we gringos are the guests they let us pick first. I decide that since I am in Korea I should pick a Korean girl. I choose girl number 2 and she comes and sits next to me. She is wearing a short black dress and I think she is cute, or I would not have picked her. It is part of the culture I was in, don’t judge me.
We learn that this particular club is more on the tame side. They say there are basically 3 different levels of clubs, this one where there is no touching and the girls only sit and talk with you. At the second level club the girls talking to you are (or can be) topless, similar to some gentlemen’s clubs in the USA. The third level club has the basement rooms like I described and also has small private rooms above where you can do whatever you can negotiate. All of the salesmen said they didn’t know what happened in those private rooms. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge…
Rodney decides on a Russian girl in a tight red dress. I think he actually picked her before we knew we were supposed to pick. (I think he had drank a little more than me at this point) She climbs over the table and sits next to Rodney. Two of the salesmen pick the other two Korean girls but the third salesman was much pickier. He did not want the remaining Russian girl. The club brought in 6 more girls in two groups before he found someone suitable. How would you like to be one not picked? I guess they get used to it since that is the job they signed up for.
I learn the name of the girl I pick is Su Yung, I may not spell it correctly but that is what it sounded like to me. She is 25 years old and she speaks Engrish pretty well. She speaks my language much better than I speak Korean that is for sure so I should not be critical especially when I’m the idiot in her country.
As soon as all the girls sit down they start making us drinks. It appears that it is the girls’ job to get us as drunk as possible. They do this by putting the beer in a glass and keeping it full so it is difficult for you to tell how many glasses you have emptied. Then they start mixing in whiskey with the beer making it even tougher to keep track of consumption. The club also brought in a couple trays of fruit that the girls would feed to us on occasion. We were not hungry at all because of the buffet dinner but we managed to eat a piece or two each.
So we are sitting in the room making small talk with the girls. One of the salesmen decides he wants to sing so he gets up, picks a song and sings it. He was pretty good, nowhere near my Tone Deaf status. The other salesmen said he likes to sing and does it every time they go out. We gringos also learn that the entertainment of business clients is a big part of the Korean business culture. For example, the Singer went out every night the previous week with clients from a construction company. The construction guys are pretty wild and most of their nights don’t end until at least 4:00 am and most times they see the sunrise. The construction guys also go to a different level of club, normally level 3 but sometimes level 2.
After about an hour and a half the Salesmen order another girl. The 5 girls excuse themselves to the restroom, all at the same time… interesting. Another girl comes in wearing a teal dress and high heels. She turns on the music and starts to dance. She loses the dress and is wearing a matching bra and thong. Next the bra disappears. She’s not a magician she simply unfastens it and drops it to the floor. She proceeds to dance topless wearing a teal thong for a couple minutes, visiting all of us in turn. A new song starts to play so I think that is it. I was wrong. She proceeds, not to remove the thong but to unfasten it around one leg, sharing everything. She dances around with her underwear around one leg (not around her ankle but still in a somewhat normal position). She visits all of us in turn and concentrated a little more on Rodney than the rest of us. When this song is over she gets dressed and says some stuff to the boys in Korean and leaves.
Miraculously the 5 girls return as soon as the dancer leaves. They refill our drinks, tell us we are handsome, and we continue to converse in broken Engrish for another 15 minutes.
The girl chosen by Picky starts talking to my girl in rapid Korean. Both the salesmen sitting on my side of the room both look at her, then look at me. Then they switch to English and she says I look like Nicholas Cage. That is a new one to me. I am somewhat thin, have dark hair, I’m not quite as tall, and I’m not married to a Korean woman. I guess American men all look alike to them.
The girls did not think Rodney looked like anyone famous. His girl, the Red Russian, was talking to him, and she spoke English much better. They were carrying on a decent conversation. I do not know all of what they were talking about but I got one highlight in the cab ride home. Rodney said the Red Russian was on the Russian Olympic team as a gymnast when she was younger. Rodney believed her. Of course in Rodney's drunken state, he probably would have believed that I was the King of Mexico had I told him so.
Maybe she was a gymnast in Russia. Olympic team, not so likely. I could be wrong. I didn't catch her real name and I doubt she would give it anyway. It might have been Regina Phalange, I'm not sure.
Then all at once the time is up and the girls say goodbye and leave.
The bill arrives and apparently it is up for discussion. They negotiate a price with the hostess, who is hot; I’m sure as a deterrent to lowering the price. Lucky for us Picky was the one paying and he works hard at the negotiation. I’m not sure how much the bill was lowered. Considering all the items we “consumed” in two hours:
- 1 room with karaoke machine
- 5 girls
- Roughly 12 bottles of beer
- 2 pints of whiskey
- 2 fruit trays (pineapple, 3 different types of melons – fruit not boobs,
- 1 stripper
After settling the bill, we say goodbye to two of our number and then get a taxi back to the hotel. By now it is 12:00 – 12:30, which is not late. In fact, it is time to be at work back in the Central Time Zone. So I do what anyone would do, ok, maybe it is just me. I called my wife, the Chief, to give a story and maybe entertain her office. Then I called my boss, then another co-worker. I wasn’t too entertaining this time as I was in Japan a couple years prior.
That is a story for another time.
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