Gifts That Keep On Giving

Every year for the past few years my best friends Pepe, Red Hat Jef and I get each other presents for the Christmas holidays. The exchange usually occurs around New Years when the three of us and families try to get together at one of our homes.

The normal gift for each of us is a t-shirt with something funny on it. I don't feel like looking for all the links to  pictures of all the shirts. It's not that I couldn't do it its just that I've got other things to do instead of that. I thought about putting the shirts on and taking pictures of each one and making some type of montage for you but I don't feel like putting on and then taking off each of those shirts. So since I am a male of the species and I like looking at the females of the species, here are a lot of pictures of the Chief's chest (wearing each of the t-shirts... those other pictures are just for me...).

You can click on the pictures to make them larger - probably too large...

So Red Hat Jef and Pepe gave me a lot of shirts but the Chief started with the first shirt, "Don't Fart Near Open Flames."

One of the other things that we have done to each other is sign each other up for mail order information or funny magazines and other such things like that. I think the most recent incident was a trial subscription for Red Hat Jef for a magazine called Backyard Poultry. I filled out the form in one of the magazines and put RHJ's address on it and mailed it in. A month or so later they get a magazine. For the next couple months magazines continued to arrive. Then a bill arrived and they paid it... I felt bad and offered to pay it but they called and canceled and the check was returned or something like that. For the New Year's gift that year I decided to deviate from tradition and get them a book. This is the book I found for them - in hardcover...

After college Pepe and RHJ were both working in the same city and they were roommates. About this time I found a brochure for adopting a Chinese child. I signed up Pepe for this. After receiving numerous mailings eventually Pepe receives a call from a Chinese-baby-adopter-person. Pepe then has to explain that he is not interested in adopting a cat, let alone a child, and that there was some type of mix up.

Another time, Pepe and RHJ signed me up for something like Bed-wetter's Anonymous or something like that. It might have been either of these: link 1 or link 2. I received all kinds of literature about bed wetting and how to stop it. The brochures didn't stop until I moved... I guess they never received my forwarding address...

Now I need to go and change the sheets...


Stay tuned for Part 2...

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Supreme Batass

One of my favorite movies is The Dark Knight. It is excellent, I believe better than the first in the series. I really liked Batman Begins, except for the flaw in the physics with the main weapon of destruction. Seriously, where did it get it's power supply? Why did it not vaporize the humans surrounding it? But anyway, I digress.

Now, on to something completely different...

During the summer of 2009 I was injured and could not run or cycle. This was especially difficult since the weather was very nice and I could not go outside and enjoy it in my normal fashion. During the summer the Chief and I went to a wedding in Seattle, Washington. Everyone runs or cycles there. It was very difficult to sit in the park and watch people run and pedal by while I was not allowed to even lace up my running shoes.

I went 6 months without running, I think this was my longest hiatus since... I can't even remember when I have went that long without running.

When I was injured and not allowed to run or bike all that I could do is swim and let my leg heal. One other thing I did was to borrow a car from my parents for everyday driving. All of the Chief and I's cars are manual transmissions and since my injury was to my left leg, I borrowed a car with an automatic transmission. As a result my car, the Mitsubishi Eclipse, sat idle for 6 months with only an occasional start and drive around the block.

When I returned the car to my parents, there were some problems with my car. I had replaced the battery in the car before I was injured but this new battery was still dead. It would not hold a charge and was replaced under warranty. The next thing that went wrong was the cable that connects to the negative terminal on the battery. It was extremely corroded and was not making a good connection to ground. So, no starting the car... I had that fixed at our local Mitsubishi dealer. When I drove the car home, it died every time I took my foot off the accelerator. I drove back to the dealer and they adjusted the idle control. No problems since then.

A few weeks ago I noticed that the leather seat on the passenger side has a tear. I would also estimate that 95% of the time, if there is a passenger with me it is the Chief. Which leads me to believe that the Chief's butt is responsible for the tear. (In a normal world this is unlikely since she weighs 120 pounds soaking wet)

You be the judge of weather the Chief's butt is responsible for the tear. Exhibit 1: the seat.

A close up on the tear...

And finally for a final comparison... the Chief's ass:

Coincidence?

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Sick Chiefs and Vegetable Gardens

The Chief has been sick this week and she is finally feeling better. In fact I can tell she is feeling better because she said it is hot in the house. We have air conditioning and the normal temperature setting is 78°F. Since she was sick and sitting under a blanket on the couch all week I turned the temperature up to 80°F and didn't tell her.

Friday she tells me it is hot in the house. The conversation goes like this:

Me: "I turned the heat up because you were cold."

Chief: "I didn't know you did that."

Me: "I didn't tell you because it wasn't important. I adjust things randomly based on your mood."

The Chief found this to be really funny.

Fast forward to Saturday. The medicine she is taking is making her a little unstable in the walking department. She tells me she feels like she is swaying back and forth. She is not (at least her butt is not... 'cause that's what I'm watching when she is walking in front of me).

Anyway, one of her friends was having a baby shower at 2:00 in a neighboring town. She didn't feel comfortable driving until she better understands what the medicine is going to do. I dropped her off at the shower and went to eat lunch and read a magazine.

The Chief is feeling much better. When I picked her up from the baby shower about 2 and a half hours later she informed me she was hungry. Now comes the difficult part. Since she is not feeling the best, what are we going to eat? Are we going to a restaurant or going to make something at home. We will of course adjust this randomly based on her mood... We decided to go to Zoup. It is good. She got a chicken soup. I can definitely tell that she is feeling better... and I can also tell when she has eaten enough because she starts being very picky.

The Chief says, "No more peas."

Then about 30 seconds later I see this:

Peas are not on the same list as broccoli. She will eat peas especially if they are in soup or casserole and not in a high concentration. Here is a list of Chief rated vegetables:



Broccoli - Vile Weed

Cauliflower - Broccoli's albino cousin

Peas (not in soup) - only good for flipping with a plastic spoon

Cooked carrots - Orange mush

Asparagus - can be used as a weapon to whack people across the head

Tomatoes - Ammo against road rage

Celery - non-edible peanut butter spoon

Mushrooms - rotten fungus - "they grow in poo, seriously come on..."

Artichokes - "Cactus flowers, those look like they will stick me... No."

Beets - She hasn't really tried beets so she doesn't have an opinion

Turnips - See beets

Onions - "They make you fart big time."

Sauerkraut - "Who eats cabbage that has been sitting in a kitchen rotting for 3 months?"

Spinach - "Quiche Lorraine is not a pie crust full of spinach. This is spinach quiche and it sucks!" (this was a translation of an argument the Chief got into with a waiter at a cafe in Paris, France when she did not get what she ordered).

Lettuce - the paper thin covering used for lining a salad bowl - copious amounts of dressing required for consumption along with ham, bacon, La Choy noodles, cheese, and hard boiled egg, with extra cheese.

Cucumber - only good for pickling and deep frying - in that order only, with copious amounts of ranch dressing

Zucchini - "Too green, unnaturally green."

We have a garden with peppers, onions, tomatoes, cucumbers and zucchini. The Chief will eat none of it. She will pick them when they are ripe. I guess that is something.

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Surfers and Weddings

This is part 2 of our California wedding vacation. Part 1 is here.

Saturday before the wedding the Chief and I went exploring around the area. There is a park next to the Wharf on the opposite side as the Boardwalk. It is called Lighthouse Field State Beach. We had some good views of the ocean, surfers, pelicans, and sea lions. 

We also saw a bit of crazy. I think we just found out who is going to win the 2012 presidential election.

We discovered that we don't really fit in when we are in California. First, we are not accustomed to the climate. I went for a run early in the morning before all the people were out. The temperature was 56°F and it was cloudy. It was glorious compared to the 95°F+ we are currently facing in Indiana. I was wearing a pair of shorts and a sleeveless shirt and was perfectly comfortable. I still worked up a good sweat, even in the cool weather. After the Chief and I went out exploring, we saw other people jogging/running. All of them were wearing long pants and long shirts. There were a few wearing shorts and long shirts. Everyone must have been under the impression it was cold. It was not cold but if you lived there full time it might seem cold. I guess.

Second, we don't talk to ourselves enough. Nearly everyone you encounter on the street or beach that is alone is talking like they are walking with someone. It is somewhat disturbing.

Third, when we were eating on the Wharf, we overheard many conversations about people going to or just returning from France. I mean, I like Paris if you can get over the dog crap on the sidewalks, but I hear it is getting better since the Chief and I visited in 2004. Maybe Californians dream of a place where they don't have to pick up their dog's crap. Maybe they are connoisseurs of fine poo and Paris is a fine place to find a wide variety of specimens in a small space, i.e. the sidewalk.

Anyway... on to the wedding. Here are some pictures of the route to the wedding site. The second picture is from the same road only a little past the wedding site. We had some extra time and decided to follow the road for a little while to kill some time.

Here is where the ceremony took place:

The rooftop over the ceremony:

The reception site:

And the tables at the reception. Notice there are little robots on the table...

Just for the record. I did not do this. I am upset that I did not think of it first either. That upsets me a little bit, but only a bit.

One thing that was great was the food, especially the dessert. Notice the following picture. There is a small cake for the bride and groom. This was for the traditional feeding cake to each other. There was only that small cake. The rest of the dessert was four kinds of pie. It was very very good. I had the chocolate cream.

It was a beautiful ceremony and reception. We wish the happy couple all the luck and happiness anywhere!

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Roller Coasters and Stag Beetles

We went to a wedding in California this past weekend. It was a beautiful affair. The venue for the wedding was absolutely awesome. The ceremony and reception were outside in the middle of Nowhere Mountain in the Bay Area in California.

The Chief and I arrived on Friday and drove to Santa Cruz. We stayed at a Hampton Inn about 1.5 miles away from the beach. After checking in and hanging up our wedding clothes we walked down to the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk.

My mom is from Santa Cruz and my grandparents lived there for many years. My mom, dad, brother, and I would go to visit for two weeks every summer. One of the highlights was going to the Boardwalk. It has not changed much, maybe a couple new attractions, some attractions were renamed and there are some different carnival games but it is still basically the same park. It had been nearly 20 years since I visited there and it brought back a lot of memories.

Some of the attractions have a prehistoric or cave man theme. One of the things I remember is the Sky Glider that takes people from one end of the park to the other. Most of the cars have people but there are a couple that look like this:

One problem is that the security is kind of antiquated:

One of the roller coasters has been in service since 1924. It is a wooden roller coaster called the Giant Dipper and it is still a good ride. We rode it twice. The first time we sat somewhere in the middle. The Chief wanted to go to the front. I new from experience that the front of the train was not as much fun. The second time we rode, we were in the very back car in the back seat. We got off the ride and the Chief said,

"It is better in the rear. You were right."

She should listen to me more.

One other ride I remember is the carousel. I will call it an official "Assault on the Clown." There is a dispenser for rings and then the riders throw the rings towards a clown's mouth. When you hit the mouth a buzzer sounds. I remember the eyes lighting up too but that didn't happen during the time we were watching and taking pictures.

After using up our tickets, we walked over to the Santa Cruz Wharf for dinner. I don't remember going there as a kid but it was probably because it was overshadowed in my mind by the Boardwalk next door. There are restaurants on the wharf, of which we ate at two of during our visit. The seafood is very good and fresh.

Another interesting fact of the wharf is there are sea lions resting under the structure on the support cross beams. I guess they are acrobatic little suckers to get up that high on the beams...

We got to watch one of them crawl up the ladder to the top of the platform:

It climbed to the top. Growled/howled at the 6-8 people watching then jumped back into the water. We were standing too close. Even in the wind, man do they stink. We are fortunate that this did not happen.

Is this the sound it makes when you run over a half full plastic water bottle with the lawn mower?

The Boardwalk at night from the Wharf.

In the next post I'll share some of the pictures from the wedding.
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This has been on my mind lately.

Do you think that people that grow handlebar mustaches are secretly envious of the pinch beetle? Case in point I give you three examples:

Example 1

Example 2

Example 3

It's a good look, I guess.

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black and white mustache photos taken from: http://www.rokasdarulis.com/blog/moustache_club.