Floating Down the Tracks

I am currently on a business trip to China. It is my first trip to China and I had some reservations about coming here from all of the stories that I have heard regarding the climate and the pollution. One thing that I heard was that the sun did not shine during the work week of Monday through Friday because of the industrial pollution. The sun would be a little visible during Saturday and it would clear off very nicely on Sunday. By Monday the factories have started back up and the sky is dark again.

My experience has been different. The sun has been out every day since I have arrived. It has been a little hazy at times, like Southern California when the haze is bad. There was one day that it rained so I did not expect to see the sun that day.

I am finding that there is a certain smell to the air and that it varies city to city, I guess based on the industry near the city. I also have acquired a bit of a head could. I feel some sinus drainage and it is not very enjoyable. But other than that, I have not found too much different versus other countries in Asia.

I arrived on Monday and stayed in a hotel in Shanghai on Monday night. On Tuesday we traveled to a different city for working on Wednesday. I guess since we had the entire day to travel my guides decided it would be good to try to use as much of the day as possible. We rode on a low speed train for 7 hours. I think the train might have been pulled by a goat instead of an actual train engine.

The accommodations were not too bad. There were four of us and we were in a compartment with four beds. There was a door and a light and a window to the outside. The only issue I had with this whole situation is that I did not want to sleep on the train. Indiana is 12 hours different from China. Since we were travelling during the day, I needed be awake during the entire trip or I would not sleep at night when I needed to be asleep. OK, I can do that. I had two different books, my laptop where I could do some work (no internet access), and an iPod with movies, music and podcasts.

About half way through the trip, the children in the next compartment are getting restless and start running up and down the hallway screaming. So we shut the door. We had been leaving it open, I was not sure why but I found out soon. The air conditioning on the train only seemed to work in the hallway and once we shut the door the compartment became very warm. That made it a little more difficult to stay awake.

About six and a half hours into the ride, I had to use the restroom. I walked one way down the train for 4 cars and didn’t see a bathroom. I turned the other way and found one back in the next car. I open the door and it is basically a stainless steel lined pit. I start going and I realize that it is very loud in the bathroom. I can hear the wind much more clearly than in the rest of the train or in our car. I look around and there is no window in the bathroom. I can only assume the noise is coming from the hole that I am peeing into. So if I’m reading this correctly, when you go to the bathroom on a 7 hour train ride you are actually peeing on the train tracks.

For the return trip back to Shanghai, we took a taxi to the high speed rail station and then took the high speed back. This trip took 3 hours this time... the train topped out at 188 miles/hour. In the comfort of an air conditioned cabin. No beverage service... but that's OK. No screaming children either.

Next time you are walking down the train tracks in China, I hope you don’t step in something and become instantly grumpy…

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The Chief and I

I grew up in a rural county in Northern Indiana about a one hour drive from Ft. Wayne. My school district was divided into two sections. Grades K-6 went to separate elementary schools and were united in 7^th grade at the high school which was grades 7-12.

I met the Chief on the first day of 7^th grade. She lived at the opposite end of the county and went to the other elementary school. We were assigned lockers based on last name. Her last name and my last name started with the same letter. As a result we sat next to each other when we were in the same class and when we were assigned seating based on last name and her locker was positioned right next to mine.

Since we were in 7^th grade and the lowest “rank” in the school we were required to have a locker partner. My locker partner was named KB. KB had his growth spurt early and was very close to 6 feet tall. I was much closer to 5 feet tall, maybe 5’ 3” or 5’ 4” I really can’t remember. The chief was smaller yet, an inch or two shorter but probably 70 pounds.

Our lockers were situated so that if we opened our locker past 90 degrees we would block the locker next to us. One day, the first or second day of school, KB was standing next to me talking and lazily getting his books for his next class from our locker. Apparently the Chief was being blocked from opening her locker. The next thing we knew, KB had the locker door slammed shut, nearly on his hand. The Chief said “thank you” and opened up her locker, removed a book, and walked off. Both KB and I were somewhat stunned. That was my first encounter with the Chief. KB and I named her Little Miss Pushy and she kept that name for a while. I don’t know if she ever heard the name.

Each year our lockers would move, but because our last names were so close in the alphabet our lockers were always close to each other. This close proximity led us to become friends; not close friends but friends.

With our senior year came private lockers and the cool "Senior hall" as well as some advanced classes. We had Physics and AP calculus. The Chief and I were in both of these classes together. I did very well in these classes but the Chief did not do as well. Since we were friends I helped her with the classes. Calculus and vectors were her weak points. Since we were spending more time together we obviously became closer.


We had our Senior Pictures taken and it was a big deal to pass them out to all your friends. I gave some to the Chief and she gave me some of hers. Then I decided it would be a good idea to get the rest of her pictures and paste them all over the inside of my locker door. When she came back I opened my locker and showed it to her and her friends as a shrine to her... she thought it was funny. 

Eventually we started dating. Our first date was our Senior Prom, one hell of a first date. From then on we were pretty much stuck together. Stuck together was not a bad thing in this case. We continued to date through our final months of high school and through the summer.

That summer the Chief’s parents surprised me. Even though we went to the same high school we lived at opposite ends of the county. It was a good 25 minute drive for me to go and visit her. During some weekends and during the summer the Chief’s family would trailer camp at a local camp ground that was much closer to my family’s house. The cost for entry was $2 per day. This is not too much but for a kid it was a lot. A season pass was $25. Since I knew the Chief would be camping there a lot I decided to buy a season pass on my first visit. I get to the window and try to buy a season pass and they will not sell me one. They also would not let me pay for the day. I wonder what is going on and when I get to the Chief’s family’s campsite they give me a season pass, basically giving me permission to continue to date their daughter. I thought it was cool. Especially since I had obviously met them before but I had not spent a lot of time with them. 

One of the neat things we did during that summer is to go to an all day concert in Indianapolis. It was the first X-Fest which is still put on by a local radio station in Indianapolis. The Chief and I went together along with some other friends of ours. When we returned home we found out that her parents had purchased a new house and they were moving. The Chief was pissed off immediately because she was moving out of the home she grew up in. Plus, she was not even consulted in the whole business. I thought she was blowing it a little out of proportion, plus they were moving to a house on the same lake as the campground. I was all for the move since I would have to drive less when we were home for the summer and on breaks. 

It didn't really matter too much because we were both going away to college in the fall. The Chief went to Indiana University and I went to Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology. These two schools are not too far apart, only 54.6 miles from Rose to the parking lot next to her dormitory. During our 4 years in college I drove many times between Terre Haute and Bloomington to visit on the weekends.

The Chief did not have a car, but I did. So I did all the driving. I visited her most often because to come back to Terre Haute was an extra hour each way. We would also go home to visit our family every few weeks. Since our parents lived so close we would go home together too. It was on these trips that the Chief’s father would give me gas money for driving her home and back. I never asked for gas money because I had a job at school for the first year plus I saved up money from summer jobs to pay for stuff during the rest of the year. The Chief was a little upset that her father gave me money and he didn’t give her money. (He would have given her money if she needed it.) She always said her family liked me better than they did her. I seriously doubt it, she is much cuter than I am.

I asked the Chief to marry me towards the end of our first year of college. Some things you just know are right. She accepted and then we told our parents. We planned to get married after graduation so we had a pretty long engagement. Everyone was ok with it so long as we waited until after graduation to get married.

At some point during our dating we discovered that our birthdays were one day apart and in the same year. I am one day older than the Chief, actually less than 24 hours older. What is even stranger is that we were born in the same hospital, and our mothers were in the hospital at the same time. I tease her saying that she was following me, stalker. Maybe she liked the fact that I threw my blue sock hat into the crib she was in sleeping. Maybe not.

We were married after graduation at the end of June and we have been happily married ever since. Well, 99.68% of the time we are happily married. The rest of the time I usually do something stupid and piss her off.

I did not have a job at graduation from college. In fact I did not get a job until the first part of August. So for a little over a month we lived in my parent’s basement. That was fun. My parents both liked her and there weren't any real issues while we stayed at my parents' house.

I actually believe the Chief got my first job for me. I was interviewing with the company that I am currently employed with. I think it was the second interview and it was down to two people. We were finishing up and I mentioned that my wife dropped me off and went out to drive around town for an hour or so. The interview lasted longer than an hour and I noticed that my wife was back and in the parking lot waiting for me. I said that she was here and my interviewer asked if I would go and get her. I did and she came in. Now, I was wearing a suit and tie, standard interview apparel. The Chief however, was wearing shorts and a tank top since it was the middle of summer. She reluctantly comes in talks to everyone. They seemed to really like her and I think that is why they chose me instead of the other candidate.

So there is some more that I owe her for… because I really like my job and what I get to do.

She does cash in some of those favors or credits every now and again. I remember a time when I was travelling for business. I think I was in Mexico City. It was in 2006 so it wasn’t as bad as Mexico is in 2011. I was visiting a customer for 3 days helping them with a problem. I was calling and talking to the Chief in the evenings when I made it back to the hotel. 


One of the other things I got to do when visiting Mexico City on this trip is to go and visit the Aztec pyramids of the sun and the moon. 

When I got home I found this in the garage.

She also gets to travel with me when I am on business. I will stay an extra weekend or a few days and we can explore some neat places. Some of these include: Penang, Malaysia; Prague, Czech Republic; Sao Paulo, Brazil; Igazu Falls, Brazil; and a number of places in the US. Plus she gets to use my frequent flyer miles when we go on vacations like to Key West, Hawaii, South Padre Island, Orlando and others… I am banking up too many miles. I think we need to go somewhere again.

I also got a new bike out of this whole deal... that is one card I'm sure I can only play once... this year maybe something next year.


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Mine!!

I started college in 1995 and being a freshman I lived on campus. It was not a requirement but it was strongly recommended... My best friend was going to the same college but we decided not to try to room together, we wanted to stay friends and meet some new people...

Pepe's roommate was a guy with a very large head. He didn't wear fitted hats because the hat stores did not carry his size. A La Bamba burrito is not even close to the same size. BigH was a cool guy except for one thing, after eating the previously mentioned burritos, he could clear a small football stadium. But that is neither here nor there... BigH was a legacy at the school. Something like 9 or 10 of his brothers had went through the school before him. So he knew what was going on better than some of us more inexperienced n00bs.

My roommate was Red Hat Jef. We had talked on the phone a couple times before we met the first day. There were some things we were allowed to bring into the room and some things we were not. We were allowed a refrigerator in our room as long as it was 3.0 cubic feet or less. I got a small refrigerator as a gift for graduating high school so I offered to bring it. RHJ asked me about the size and I of course said 3.5 cubic feet. I had read the regulations and I didn't think I would be strung up by my ankles for a measly 0.5 cubic foot (roughly 3.75 gallons of volume - or half the amount of beer consumed by the average college Freshman in a weekend).

RHJ had different ideas, he said the refrigerator was too large and that he would bring one that met the size requirements. Umm, OK. I guess. I know one of us was not going to have enough beer and it was not going to be me... So I will bring the dorm room sized microwave, which I didn't have. So how is this going to work out. RHJ seemed a little high strung.

We finally meet on the first day of orientation. RHJ had a shorter drive than I did so he made it to the room first meaning that he gets dibs on which side of the room he gets. The rooms were designed with very little flexibility, bed, desk, dresser on one side of the door and a mirror image on the other side. For whatever reason, he chose the left side as you walked into the room.

I meet his family. They are all business. They are getting RHJ moved into the room with a machine like efficiency I would associate with a German assembly line robot. RHJ and his father are discussing how to build a loft to give more space on his side of the room. Then, they are done moving stuff in. He gets a hug from his mom and sister and a handshake from his dad and they walk out leaving RHJ and I, along with my mom and dad.

RHJ remains all business for a while. He loosens up eventually. I think he started loosening up after a couple weeks. I was signed up for a "Work Study" program as a form of financial aid. I chose security based on BigH's recommendation. As a result Pepe and I would "work study" in the security office in the evenings. I would get back to the room kind of late. RHJ would sometimes already be in bed. But the funny thing is, I could talk to him and get a mostly coherent response. We had some normal conversations and we had some extraordinary conversations. One such conversation was about homework in a class I was taking. It was a computer science class and I didn't have any experience in computer programming. RHJ on the other hand was a Computer Science major and had been programming computers for years. I was asking him about my homework and he was helping me through some of it, even though he was asleep... then I would ask another question about the homework and he would answer, "I had a hamburger for dinner." Then I would ask if he was awake, and he would say, "Hamburgers are good."

This sleep talking became a regular occurrence  in my college life. Me being the benevolent person that I am, I have to share the fun. I start bring Pepe back to the room to talk to RHJ. I think at first RHJ was a little angry with me for continuing to talk to him when he was asleep. He may have also not liked that I was bringing in an audience. My answer was for him to stop talking to me while asleep. I don't think he saw the humor in that. I know he didn't think it was as funny as I did.

At one point during the year I think we finally pulled RHJ out of his shell, or the workload was getting to him, I'll take the credit since I'm writing this... Anyway, I come back from a class and I find him sitting at his desk (under the bunk he and his father made...) and he is making trails of rubbing alcohol on his desk then lighting it on fire and watching the fire follow the path he traced. OK. I like burning stuff as much as the next guy but the desk is wood. So I suggested he go into the hallway since it was tile, plus there was a much larger area for trails. After a while the trails were becoming a bit boring, plus the authorities (Resident Adviser or Sophomore Adviser) came back to our floor while we were in between conflagrations. So we move the activities back to RHJ's desk. Then he spots a gift his then girlfriend gave him. Here is a pretty accurate picture of the gift:

It will not burn so why not put alcohol in it and light it on fire. It was pretty cool at first but then it got pretty hot after constant refilling with alcohol and relighting. By this time Pepe had joined us and I think he gave the warning that it would break (having had a similar experience in High School chemistry lab with me as his lab partner... hmmm wonder what happened). Sure enough, it broke. My next question is, why would his girlfriend think a good gift for him would be a cat candle holder thingy? I don't know, but I will speculate:

• Maybe she thought the room incandescent lighting was way too modern
• Maybe she liked to roast marshmallows very slowly over an open candle flame
• Maybe when the relationship ends she would have something to use as a projectile
• Maybe she was a little freaky and liked a little hot wax during intimate times... I never asked for those details.

So there were some more adventures during college but I will leave it there for now. So fast forward to college graduation. Both Pepe and Red Hat Jef get jobs before graduation. Pepe goes to work for the company he did an internship with the previous summer because he is competent. RHJ also has a job because he is a CS major with a personality and good personal hygiene... which I am told are highly sought after traits in that line of work. I was not as lucky, I did not get a real job until August, two months after graduation. 

Pepe and RHJ were both working in Indianapolis so they decided to room together to save costs since neither was from Indianapolis or had other friends or relatives they could mooch off of. After I found a job the Chief and I moved to Columbus, Indiana about an hour south of Indianapolis.

One thing I just found out was the Pepe and RHJ did not always get along when they lived together. I knew there were some squabbles as there always are between roommates. I lived with RHJ for a college year and we didn't have any yelling or screaming matches. I think I was only pissed off at him once or maybe twice during our time together. One I remember was I came back from a weekend with the Chief (at a neighboring college) and I found RHJ on my bed instead of on his in his loft. I was pissed off for a minute until I realized he was very, very ill. Then I got over it very quickly. I honestly don't remember another time.

I also lived with Pepe for the remaining 3 years of college and we had one or two minor disagreements. Even though we lived in very close proximity especially year 2 and year 3 of college when we lived in the same room in a house owned by BigH's family. Since they had at least 14 children go through the same college it made good sense for them to buy a house in the same town and rent out rooms to their children's friends. We called BigH our "slum lord."

Pepe and RHJ had a number of disagreements that varied in intensity while living together.

It just so happens that after one of these minor altercations the Chief and I happened to visit. Only Pepe was home at the time. As I understand it when Pepe and RHJ lived together they had some shared resources. For example milk and bread and maybe some other food items like ketchup, mustard, etc. It was the responsibility of the person who emptied said resource to replace it. At the time of my visit this system wasn't running smoothly and RHJ was pissed off about Pepe drinking all the milk and not replenishing the stock in a timely enough manner.

RHJ was mad and decided to break the communal atmosphere and purchase his own supplies, like milk. In order to mark his territory in the refrigerator he put a post-it note on the milk saying "MINE." I think this is great fun. I find the remainder of the post it note pad and proceed to write "MINE" on all the post it notes and place them on items in RHJ's room, in his bathroom, in his books, inside his clean laundry, inside his workout gear, in his CD cases, in his VHS tapes, on his Tivo, under his pillow... you get the idea. It turns out that this was actually a good thing, it broke some of the tension between the roommates, plus it entertained me greatly.

Three or four years later, long after Pepe was married and moved out and RHJ had changed apartments at least once and maybe twice, I get a call from RHJ saying he found a "MINE" note in one of his books.

That is satisfaction.

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Gifts Part 2

I think the Chief gave me at least 12 of the t-shirts in the last post. She also gets me a lot of other cool/nerdy gifts. Most of them are random stuff but even though they are random, they are still a lot of fun, and since I am a bit nerdy, I really like them. The first example is a gift for my desk at work. It is a cow that craps jelly beans.

We had to do some work to make the video... for whatever reason the cow (who's name is Mosley) was constipated. Apparently my office got a little warm and probably humid because all the jelly beans were sticking together. Mosley's constipation was so bad we had to use a tooth pick to "work it out." If Mosley was a mathematician we would have used a pencil...

Another gift from the Chief was buckyballs. They are little magnet balls and they are a lot of fun. I first took them to work and after two or three hours of playing with them and not working I had to put them up. I have gotten over the novelty somewhat and now I only play with them when I'm on the phone or when I'm talking to someone who came in to visit me. They are also a distraction to people who sometimes come in and visit with me. Here is what they are shaped into now:

This was made by one of my friends. Even Mosley likes the buckyballs... at least he wasn't constipated.

The Chief also got me some "Office Monkeys" based on the series of commercials for Career Builder that aired around the Super Bowl a couple years ago. Since I have a lot of spare time at work, like when I'm in a daily conference call with morons (whoever said the customer is always right was probably the idiot you went to school with who tried to hump the football in gym class because the white laces excited them). During one such series of conference calls I did this:

Then a couple years later I was on a trip to Germany. While there I got to see AC/DC in concert and the show was great. They played for almost two hours and played all their hits and a few off their newest CD. Because I am a dork and I have some spare time, after returning to the office I made these:

Since I work in an office and we have management, affiliates, global partners and most importantly customers, sometimes there are some crazy ideas. They may not even come from management from time to time but they still exist. The Chief found a useful place to put all the craziness...

It is hanging on the wall of my office. There may or may not be stuff inside it.

I still think my favorite Chiefly gift came to me this past Christmas. It has absolutely no practical use that I can find. The instructions and packaging are in Japanese, and I do not speak Japanese or read it. It is a fun little novelty item. A picture of it will not do it justice. Here is a video of said gift. Notice the buckyballs in the background...

My computer will never be the same.

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