Storage Wars Crap

There is a faux reality show on A&E called Storage Wars where people buy the contents of storage units when the original owner does not continue to pay the rent. There is no tampering of the lockers by the show or the producers... all the stuff in there is exactly as it was left (note intense sarcasm). There are a select group of people that always go the the auctions because they think they can make money selling the stuff in the storage unit above and beyond the auction price.

They always buy a locker for somewhere between $5 to $1500 and estimate the value of the stuff found inside plus some kind of Pier One markup.

I have to admit that I watch the show sometimes while the Chief and I are getting ready for bed. It takes the Chief 5-10 minutes longer than it does me, so I watch some TV while I wait. If nothing else catches my attention then I might land on one of these faux reality shows.

One show in particular caught my eye. Not just because the people on the show are idiots... but because some of the contents of one of the storage lockers looked like something that I own. I saw our TV room lamp in the storage unit. Here is the lamp in our TV room:

I liked this so much that I took a video of the show so I could put it up here. Please pardon the quality of the video.

I don't even want to get started about the character on the show... so I will concentrate on the item in the locker. The shades are somewhat discolored... so are your eyebrows. Anyway, our shades are a little discolored around the bulb that is on all the time. I bet it has something to do with the heat in the storage unit and the fact that the shades are made from cheap white plastic. Our shades stopped discoloring once we changed to CFL bulbs.

Seriously... $275 for this lamp, with incandescent light bulbs in it? I did some thinking about when we bought the lamp, I think it was soon after we moved to Southern Indiana in 2002. So our lamp is about 12 years old. We bought it at Target, so I should look online and see if it is still offered. Sure enough, the lamp is still available here.

Notice the price of a whopping $34.99, probably plus shipping and handling. As long as shipping and handling is less than $240 then I think I would buy this lamp at Target. They also sell the same lamp with the CFL bulbs included, the bulbs are somewhat expensive. Here is the link, only $54.99 with free shipping on any purchase over $50. CFL bulbs are 5 for $20? That sounds like a lot... $4 a bulb. Let's check on that too... Here at Lowe's they have 18 CFL bulbs for $25.02... $1.39 a bulb. Must be a big handling fee or maybe the bulbs come pre-installed at $2.61 a bulb. So that is how much it costs to install a light bulb.

Remind me never to go to the gallery he sells this lamp to... or buy included CFL bulbs with a lamp. I'll sell him my lamp for $150 and he will think I gave him a great deal.

Sorry about the math...
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More Signs from Out and About

I only wanted to post 3 stories about our trip to Italy but I forgot one important picture that I took. A few posts ago I wrote about graffiti in a post titled "I Think This Would Be Funny." First I have to say that I do not condone graffiti and that I think that it is a waste of time, money and energy. Even though some of it makes me laugh.

When we were walking through Rome, there were a lot of advertisements for over prices clothing stores. Of course, I also think, no, I know that I am cheap, especially when it comes to clothing. I don't spend a lot of money on clothing. I have other expensive hobbies that I would much rather spend my money on.

Anyway, I though of my old post when I saw the advertisement. I also thought that it would be funny if there was some graffiti on said advertisement. So I thought I would take the liberty...

So for the rest of this post I will put up some of the pictures of random crap that I have found in my picture archive. They are all pictures that I have taken...

This first one is from Tokyo... where else could it be since it says on the sign... Don't do it!

These next two pictures are of a rental car the I rented to go on a day trip to a customer for work. It was a good thing there were only two of us going, it would be difficult to put someone in the backseat of the car.

 

On GM's website it says the Chevy Cruze seats 5 people. I don't know if this means Americans... my guess it is people who have been spotted on the back of approximately 1 in 5 cars on the road, particularly SUVs... these guys:

In case you were wondering... I drew that myself. I know, I should become a professional graphic designer. I'm at least as qualified as the people who make those stupid stickers.

Next we have a sign from a company. I have removed the name of the company because I'm a nice guy.

Note the restrictions on the bottom right hand corner of the sign, No Smoking, OK, that is normal, No naked lights? What was that? No naked lights. Naked light must be obscene. I think we should all put clothes on our lights to prevent accidents. Here is an example of how to do it:

If you or someone in your family is crafty, maybe you could make the clothes, or just perhaps use a tube sock.

Before I put up the next picture, I have to say something. I know that it must be an honor to have your name on the building, especially in recognition of great devotion and hard work towards a cause or business. For example, making partner in a law firm and having your name put on the sign out front. In some cases the name of the partner and the type of business in question should play a role in determining if your name should be up on the sign for everyone to see. I give you this:

I wonder if this conversation has ever taken place on the first meeting between doctor and patient?

Doctor: "Hello, Sandra, it is nice to meet you. I'm Dr. Fish."

Patient: "I bet you get this all the time... So your name is 'Fish' and you are a gynecologist. Isn't that ironic?"

Next time maybe they should go with initials...

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P.S. Here is my new favorite 'demotivational' poster.

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Pompeii - Our Italian Vacation Part 3

On the last day of our Italian visit we took a tour to Naples and Pompeii. The concentration was on Pompeii but there was a very quick tour of Naples at the beginning.

Every morning my dad goes to the local restaurant for coffee. He doesn't really only go for the coffee, he can make coffee at home, he goes to talk to the people there. Most all of them are retired or at least retirement age. In Naples the custom is slightly different.

Lots of old European mankinis...

Now on to Pompeii, first a little history... sorry if it is boring. Pompeii was buried by the eruption of Mt. Vesuvius in 79 AD. It was lost for centuries and was eventually found during a construction project in the 16th century. The excavation were stopped and then started again in 1748 and continues to this day. During our visit there were a couple different areas where excavation was in progress.

It is a very large place. Once you have seen a few highlights the rest of it makes you say, "Look, more ruins..." That was the same thing we started saying in Rome on the third day too. During this tour we actually had a tour guide for the first 2 hours of the visit to the ruins. He followed a somewhat haphazard route through the city hitting most of the high points.

He explained interesting facts about the temples, the forum, the men's bath, the women's bath, the residences, and the whore house. Yes, the whore house. Only the guide called it the "hospital." I'm not sure if it was a concidence or not, but the "hospital" was next to the pharmacy. If you didn't know where the "hospital" was, there were various markers that pointed (ha ha) you in the right direction. Here is one such directional marker.

Once you reached the "hospital" one interesting thing about it was that there was a menu, so to speak, of the services offered.

Now I understand why the "hospital" was next to the pharmacy...

One of the other interesting things about the market outside the ruins is the great variety of souvenirs that you can purchase. One thing there seemed to be an inordinate number of penises and all of them had wings. I had to buy one or else nobody would believe. Here is the picture as proof...

They also had various other types of key chains. Here is another one we bought only so you will believe me.

I didn't see that on the menu. That must be on the menu at the women's "hospital."

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Our Italian Vacation Part 2

We also visited the Vatican and the Vatican museum, St. Peter's Cathedral, Sistine Chapel, etc. One of the really cool things about St. Peter's Cathedral is the size. There are marks on the floor showing where other cathedrals in the world would fit inside it. We visited a cathedral in Washington DC and we thought it was huge, it fit a little less than half way inside of St. Peter's.

Here is an image from the door towards the altar.

To give a better perspective of the size. The picture below is on one of the columns along the main isle in the picture above. The Chief is standing at the foot of the column giving a reference to the size of the lowest statue... the baby in the statue is 6 feet tall.

On our way into the Vatican museum, there is a mandatory bag check for bags above a certain size. I think the size is arbitrary as I had to check my backpack but I saw other backpacks of similar size being carried... not that I'm complaining, there were a lot of stairs to climb to get to the top of the cathedral. Anyway, next to the bag check was this sign:

Whatever you do, don't take off your clothes and expect them to hold them while you streak. It's not gonna happen.

One of the nice things about being on a vacation like this, especially when you are visiting on a Saturday, is that there are not too many people there visiting with you. I give you this example:

At some point near the beginning of the tour of the Vatican Museum, we found the hall of miscellaneous statue parts... the only reason there are no people there is because it is roped off and nobody can walk down that hall.

Later that evening we were exiting the subway and found that there is definitely some discrimination against the French.

The English go one way, the French go another, and the universal sign for "exit" (smaller in green and white) follows the English. I'm not going to go the French way, we had a bad experience with a very smelly French woman when we visited Paris. I don't want to find out if it spilled over into Italy.

I also mentioned that my boss stayed in Rome with us for the weekend. She left in the early afternoon on Sunday to catch her flight to her next fun workfilled destination. So the Chief and I decided to look in some shops and see if there was anything we could not live without. About the only thing we could not live without was some gelato. I got some and the Chief got her own. It was pretty hot and it was melting pretty quickly. The difference between hers and mine was she got whipped topping on hers. I tasted it and the topping was not very good. I suggested she scrape it off into a trash can and concentrate on the gelato beneath. Here is what actually happened:

She swears it was an accident and that she stumbled on the sidewalk cracks.

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Our Italian Vacation Part 1

One of our customers specifically requested my presence in a meeting in Italy to discuss some various issues they were having that we have been working on for some time. The meeting was kind of a face to face setting to get all the work that has been done and all the work that needs to be done out in the open. This was my first time to Italy and the Chief got to go along. It was also her first trip to Italy.

The day we arrived, Wednesday, I went cycling with a colleague form the Italian company. He has not ridden for a long distance for quite a while, but we rode for a little over 2 hours and had a good time out in the countryside. We were in the area around Turin.

The meeting was the following day was the all day meeting, roughly 9:00am to 7:00pm with about a 30 minute lunch in the company cafeteria. It was Italy, so what did we eat... pizza and pasta. We actually finished the meetings on Thursday. We were not sure if we would need to continue on Friday or not, but it was not necessary. My boss had meetings elsewhere in Europe the following week so she stayed in Italy with the Chief and I.

Friday, we take the train from Turin to Rome. It is about a 4 hour ride but it is very uneventful. Rome is obviously very old. We have never been there before and we are told some things to check out. Pepe and his wife recommended we go to the Colosseum. So we did. We were not the only ones there.

A coworker recommended we see the Pantheon. So we did. We were not the only ones there.

Another coworker, or maybe a friend, or maybe both recommended we visit the Trevi Fountain. So we did. Again, we were not even close to the only ones there...

I actually did take some pictures of the fountain itself, not just the people visiting it. Here is one.

It is a little distorted because it is multiple pictures taken and then stitched together. I have not had a lot of time to play with the pictures to make it look better yet. This was just a quick and dirty run...

Also, I can't help myself when I'm in a foreign country, I have to take pictures of signs and English mistranslations. It makes me laugh... besides, this blog is all about things that make me laugh. Speaking of things that make me laugh, did you notice the picture of the Pantheon. The guy in the foreground is finishing up picking his nose. He was really digging for gold, I didn't plan on that being in the picture, but sometimes you just get lucky.

The first picture below is not doctored and I did not take it though a mirror. I don't know either...

Subway pictures are some of my favorites. Let's go through this diagram one picture at a time...

Top Left: When you are doing wall sits, don't push the door open
Top Right: Don't use your super strong grip to bend the door frame
Bottom Right: Always mind your junk and your butt when straddling the door
Bottom Left: Be cautious, our trains are not afraid to sodomize you

And finally, I think I figured out where the Smurfs got those stupid hats.

I guess the Ancient Romans used Smurf style hats at one point. 

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