TurkeyToad: Free Magazines for Everyone

Working at an industrial chemical company, I receive a lot of trade magazines for various things. All of them are free and almost all of them are irrelevant. Every few months someone calls requesting to update my information to continue receiving the free publications. They ask for name, title, number of employees, industries served, etc. They always try to throw in a personal question... for example, "In order to verify that I spoke with you today, could you tell me what city you were born in?" They have asked other questions too such as my birthday, it could be the year, month or date. I have a set of standard responses for the personal questions they ask:

Telemarketer: "Could you tell us what city you were born in?"
Me: "No."

Telemarketer: "Could you tell us what month you were born in?"
Me: "No."

Telemarketer: "Could you tell us what day of the month you were born in?"
Me: "No."

Telemarketer: "Could you tell me the name of the street where you currently live?"
Me: "No."

Telemarketer: "Could you tell me the day of the month when you were born?"
Me: "Tuesday"

After the personal question they always ask if there is anyone else in the company that would benefit from receiving Industrial Magazine. The answer is always an emphatic no.

The last questions they ask are:

Telemarketer: "Would you like to provide your email address to receive electronic copies of the magazines?"
Me: "No"

Telemarketer: "How would you like to receive your free subscription to Industrial Magazine, print or email?"
Me: "Didn't I answer that in your last question?"

Then I say that I would like to receive the magazine via email... But it makes me laugh so it is OK.

One thing I like about a certain free magazine is that it contains Dilbert cartoons. Having worked in a cubicle in a cube farm for a portion of my career Dilbert really rings true. I always look forward to it every month. One other thing I like about the magazines is the articles in some cases, but mostly the advertisements.

I'm not sure if it legal to scan comics but here is the Dilbert, you can view more at: www.dilbert.com

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Now it is time for the first post in what will likely become a series of posts where I/we look at the great advertisements in industrial magazines and take things out of context. This is the stupid stuff that makes me laugh. I hope it makes you laugh too.

First we have an unfortunate name for a company.

This is the guy's last name, maybe I would come up with something different as my company name. Since they are into burning stuff, why not Combo Controls or "Huh, huh, fire..." I just hope they are not burning their namesake, unless they are in Terre Haute, IN which is probably the worst smelling town in the USA.

Second we have a headline.