More Randomness

I have another story about Random Task here.

The first time I met him, we were at a company picnic. We were eating. I was with the Chief and he was with his wife. Random Task and I were in line to get food at the same time. He asked me if my name was "TurkeyToad" and I said "yes." (He asked me about my real name, not my blog name. My blog did not exist then...)

His next question to me was "How old are you?" I think I was 31 at the time and I tell him. He thinks about this for a minute then his next question is "You are a manager right?" At the time I had 3 people reporting to me so I naturally responded yes. His next comment puzzled me a bit. He said that Managers need to be at least 35 years old and normally they need to be 40. OK. I'm not sure about that but my boss had at least 8 direct reports at the time and she is one year older than me...

Random Task has a habit of asking some rather bizarre questions. Here are some of the highlights:

"How many push-ups can you do?"

"What do you know about trees?"

"What do you do here?" - asking someone in international sales what their job function was. 

"He does like girls, right?" - talking about another coworker that always dresses nice and does in fact, like girls.   

Another time Random Task was in a meeting with chemists and others from the international group. Random Task was showing some data he had gathered including a graph of the data. The graph consisted of a control sample and the "suspect" sample. The two lines on the graph were significantly different. Someone in the international group commented on the graphs saying how the suspect sample was not nearly as good as the control.

A little while later, Random Task visited the person commenting on the graphs in International Sales and asked if she had a chemistry degree. She said no. Then he asked how she was able to read that graph in the meeting. I guess people without chemistry degrees should not be able to read graphs - go tell that to engineers...

One last bit... a few days before Random Task announced he was going to a new company I was walking near his desk and he walked around the corner. Then he said something about what happens if you tuck your shirt into your underwear. Then he stops next to me and said that I made it funnier. I'm still  not sure what that was about.

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Another worker in our company likes to use post-it notes. At any given time there are no fewer than 30 on his desk. These are the 4 inch by 6 inch lined post-it notes. It appears there is a progression of the notes. If they are important they are front and center on the edge of his desk. If they are less important they are relegated to the pile which is a few days away from the trash bin.

Since there are so many notes on his desk, he would not notice a couple more notes...

Some of the notes we added are:

• A listing of all the My Drunk Kitchen episodes
• Things Chuck Norris did - including: slammed a revolving door, counted to infinity twice
• Things a honey badger might say
• The department members favorite colors. This was fun because if there person was not available during the interview then we made them up. My best one was "deer through the scope brown."

He is a good sport and tacks them up to the side of his cube.

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2013 Asia Trip

Earlier in the year I was on a trip to Asia. It is always fun getting to Asia, especially tropical Asia. Let's recap:

Flight 1:       1:00          Layover 1:     3:00
Flight 2:     13:00          Layover 2:     2:30
Flight 3:       9:00          Layover 3:     6:30
Flight 4:       1:00

We are talking 24 hours flying and 12 hours waiting... 36 hours altogether. Plus as a real treat when I arrive at my destination it is 10:00 am and I am very, very tired because I am trying to get my internal clock close to the local time which is 13 hours different than home.

During the first layover, I did get a good breakfast...

But since I'm going to Asia, I'm keeping a lookout for funny signs and anything else that makes me laugh...

While travelling I read magazines, here is one of the things that I found that made me laugh a whole lot is the name of a product to prevent chafing while riding a bicycle, oh yeah, and it is specifically formulated for women.

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Grapes Don't Always Improve with Age

The Chief and I were planning to go and visit friends over the 2012-2013 New Year's Holiday but that didn't work out because of the weather. I didn't want to get out in the snow and ice and drive what is normally a 4 and a half hour drive to Pepe's house. I am sad that we are not visiting him and his family. They moved farther away and we don't get to visit them as much as we used to.

Since we have a few extra days around the house it is a good time to do some cleaning. I started with the laundry room. It is kind of a catch all for kitchen overflow, and of course laundry. That is where we will store  cases of soda and juice and bottled water. Sometimes the Chief does not drink what she buys. For example I found some Tropicana Grapeade in the laundry room. I didn't know how long it has been there but I know it has been there for a long time. Notice the picture at right showing the multi-pack that is available at Sam's Club. This is actually what we purchased.

Now take a look at one of the bottles remaining in our stash... is it just me or does it look a little green to you too?

I also thought it looked a little green. I decided to pour some out into a white bowl to see for sure...

Yep, definitely green. It also did not smell anything like grape, more like some type of household cleaner.  Next I decided to look at the expiration date... February 2007, this is January 2013, nearly 6 years past the expiration date...

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Finally, A Mess Not Caused By Me

I started taking TRX classes at my gym on Tuesdays and Thursdays. The first couple weeks really kicked my butt, but after that it became doable. Not easy, but I can complete the two one hour long workouts every week and not be so sore the next morning that I have trouble getting out of bed. These classes are in the evenings from 5:30 to 6:30. I don't normally take classes in the evenings. I would prefer to get up early and have my workouts done before work. That leaves me time after work to hang out with the Chief. Since the only way I can persuade the Chief to get up early is if we are catching a flight to someplace warm and sunny. Since the Chief and I ride to work together a few days a week I thought she could go and walk or swim while I was doing the TRX class. She actually agreed to this. You can ask her...

The Chief has not been walking or swimming while I have been taking the class for the past eight weeks. She has not felt good enough and I understand not wanting to go to the gym when you are not feeling good. It is OK that she does not go, but just because she does not want to go does not mean that I am required to stay home with her. I go to the classes. When I am finished with class, I call and ask the Chief if she needs anything. I have picked up things for dinner, some ice cream, and some various items from the grocery store, etc.

On this particular Thursday night I called the Chief after class to see if she needed anything. She said "No" with a voice that clearly said something was wrong. She mumbled something about making a mess and cleaning it up but I couldn't understand what she was talking about. She mentioned something about popcorn and wanting butter to put on it.

First, we have an air popper. You can't put butter into an air popper or it will ruin it. So you either need to have a butter spray or melt some butter to put on after popping. She told me that I could pick up some butter spray. I guess that meant that she had a bit of an issue melting butter. So I understood the mess. When you make popcorn with the air popper it is difficult to not make a mess. At the end, the popcorn flies everywhere and sometimes one of the grains will pop after it has already made it to the bowl. I recently got a new camera that takes video and I have been looking for some things to take a video, and this sounds like as good a subject as any.

So that is the first part of the equation. The second part is the butter. You may think that the Chief does not need butter on her popcorn. You would be wrong. I made an example food pyramid for the Chief. It is just like a normal food pyramid, except I added a special section called "Condiments."

I know cheese is on there twice, but that is the way it is... cheese sauce, cheese in a can, etc. So we know that butter plays an important role in the Chief's diet. I could have also added a small corner in the meat section that would be fish. So having popcorn without butter is just something that cannot happen. What is the best way to melt butter, over the stove or in the microwave? I think the microwave would be faster but I think the stove would do a better job and there would be less chance of making a mess.

The Chief tells me she tried to use the microwave. We also have a popcorn butter sprayer. You melt butter and then put it into the sprayer. It will then mist the butter onto your popcorn, distributing it much more evenly than just pouring it on. The Chief said there was a bit of a problem with the butter melting in the microwave. She had to clean the microwave, which is something she dislikes, as it involves cleaning.

I get home and find this in the kitchen sink.

Click to zoom in if you want...

We had to go to a movie today, because she wanted real popcorn with movie theater butter...

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My Lameness

Sorry for the long delay but the Chief and I have been busy. I'm not saying what but I'm sure there will be many, many things to write about this coming year. I will do better and hopefully it will be funny and interesting .. at least it will be for me.

First, I just returned home from a last minute business trip to Canada to work with a customer. Being in technical service, I hate to say the problem is not our issue or that there is nothing we can do to help, but in this case it was actually true. The trip was last minute because I found out about it on Friday afternoon and left on Monday morning. I was not scheduled to return until Thursday but the customer realized there was nothing we could do for them and let us go. Besides that, the other supplier that was visiting decided they were done and left. Third, some of the equipment the customer needed to use for process validation (which was why we visited) was broken and there was no schedule as for when it would be repaired. And lastly, a snowstorm is scheduled to hit eastern Canada and the Eastern USA on Wednesday night and Thursday morning and I did not want to get stuck in a snowstorm... At least there was another coworker with me on the trip, but getting stuck somewhere that is not your home still sucks.

Because the trip was last minute, the flight schedules were not very good. Visiting this customer normally takes me into Syracuse, New York and then I drive up to Canada. The customer we were visiting is nearly half way between Syracuse and Toronto. Flying into Toronto is normally 2-3 times more expensive than flying into Syracuse.  However, for this trip we flew into Toronto, drove a couple hours east to our customer, and then drove East and South to Syracuse to return home. Plus we had the pleasure of a one way rental from Hertz, that crosses a border into another country. The rental car companies always over charge for a one way rental, I think it is their way of discouraging the practice. It turns out that there was approximately a $200 fee for the one way rental. What I didn't notice until the second day of the rental is the car, a POS Chevy Cruze, had New York licence plates. I was returning a car back to the USA for them and being heavily charged for it.

In addition to the $200 extra rental fee, our customer originally requested we spend two days in the plant. So we scheduled Tuesday and Wednesday in the plant and travelling on Monday and Thursday. That meant two nights in the first hotel, Monday and Tuesday nights. Since we were scheduled to stay two days, and the customer let us leave a day early we went back to the hotel at 5:00 pm and checked out. Of course, we were charged for the second day because we didn't check out at noon as the hotel policy dictates.

All in all this was an expensive trip to go to a customer and not be able to do anything except hold their hand and shrug our shoulders. On the positive side, when we were staying Tuesday night in Syracuse, near the airport, we didn't have any dinner plans so I followed my custom of asking the hotel attendant what is good in the area. Since it is next to the airport, there is normally not too much within a 5 minute drive. This time we struck gold in the form of North Syracuse's Clam Bar. http://www.theclambarrestaurant.com/ It was one of the best seafood places I have eaten in a very long time. They have a great selection of seafood and steaks and are very reasonably priced. I highly recommend stopping in if you are in the area. We were lucky, we walked in and there was only one open table in the place. I even had the chance to eat something new, raw clams on the half shell. I have had oysters on the half shell but this was my first time with clams. They are similar to oysters but are a little more chewy and less slimy.

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The next thing I want to discuss is shower etiquette. While I may not be an expert when it comes to etiquette, I have learned a little over the years. The showers at the gym for example are much better if there are private stalls. Of course this is not always the case, sometimes there are group showers and you have to make due or smell awful the rest of the day.

The gym that I visit over my lunch break during the week has the group showers. There is a room with 8 showers lining two sides of the room. Since I like my coworkers, I opt for the shower. A quick diagram of the shower...

There is an entrance to the shower on each side. My preference of shower heads is either number 1 or number 5. There is a swim suit spinner outside the entrance next to shower head number 1 and I normally swim at lunch and need to dry out my suit after rinsing it in the shower. The time during lunch is normally pretty busy at the gym so I don't always get my choice of shower. However, on one particular day that I remember when I finished my workout, and went to shower, the shower was completely empty. I had my pick of spots. Naturally, I chose my favorite, shower number 1.

After a short amount of time, a second person comes into the shower. Etiquette dictates that he should take shower number 8. Of course any selection of 5, 6, 7, 8, or 4 would be acceptable. One thing to note about this shower, heads 4 and 8 are lower than the others. So as a result I try to avoid 4 or 8 because I have to bow my head in order to rinse the top of my hair. Where did the newcomer pick?

That clearly violates the shower etiquette. I almost said, "Really, this is the shower you must use?" That is what I was clearly thinking and if he could read minds, he would have moved. I did not want to speak to him so I quickly finished up and then went to get dressed to go back to work. Maybe that was his favorite shower, maybe he thought I was cute, maybe he was being an ass. I'm going to vote for "being an ass."

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Phone Troubles and Stellar Support

In my job I am frequently required to travel internationally. The other engineers in my group are also required to travel internationally. Usually there is some type of misunderstanding about what is being observed at the customer and we go and treat the start visit like a fact finding mission before trying to come up with a solution.

Frequently a call to the home office is required. This is all well and good, except that sometimes our IT department does not realize the perils of international travel or the consequences of being without a phone that works for more than an alarm clock.

Our IT department is very bad about upgrading phones. We go through Verizion Wireless and I guess we are allowed to get an upgrade every 2 years, like normal consumers. Who knew?

Before a recent trip to Brazil, Rodney received a new phone because his old phone refused to charge the battery. He went for about a week swapping batteries with another coworker before he could get a new phone, but that strategy would not work in Brazil where he only had one phone.

Luckily we have good local support in Brazil, and they actually have phones that work in Brazil and can call the United States...

Rodney arrives in Brazil and his phone does not work. He uses our local representative's phone and calls me for help. I send an email to IT requesting assistance for Rodney who is currently in Brazil on a customer visit. Here is the email conversation:

Me: Rodney is in Brazil and his phone does not work. Can you help with this issue?

IT: He needs to call the Verizion Global Support line at 908-559-4899

I wanted to retort with: "How is he supposed to call Verizion Global Support if his phone does not work?" but I did not. I would like my computer and phone to continue to function.

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Merry Christmas Piles

The Chief and I went away for Christmas as we do on most years. We went to visit our families that live about 5 hours away in northern Indiana. We left after work on Friday December 21 and returned on Wednesday December 26. It appears that while we were gone, our three cats had some type of drunken party. I found no less than 8 yak piles. The largest measuring about 24 inches in length, and ironically outside the bathroom door. It looked like a cat tried to make it to the bathroom to hurl and came so close... At least on the bright side, it was on the tile floor and not carpet... most of the others were on the carpet. That is always fun. It looks like a campground in the living room with little paper towels over the cleaned up spots.

On a related note, a few days ago I was vacuuming the TV room and decided to move the couches to vacuum under them. That is something that we don't do very often. It had evidently been quite a long time since the couches had been moved, or maybe it was not very long... it is difficult to tell.

Let's see what is under couch number 1...

OK, let's itemize this hoard...
     6 milk jug rings
     2 striped catnip filled toys
     1 plastic fork missing part of a tine
     2 tubes of chapstick
     1 cat toy ball with a bell inside
     2 Chic-fil-a mints
     1 full sized snickers bar
     1 bendy straw
     1 hair tie
     1 twist tie
     1 aluminum foil ball
     1 stick

OK, on to couch number 2...
     2 milk jug rings
     2 striped catnip filled toys
     5 cat toy balls with bells inside
     1 piece aluminum foil
     1 cord/cable tie
     1 blue sharpie
     1 black ink pen
     1 catnip bird
     1 metal bottle cap
     1 plastic bottle cap
     2 pieces scrap paper
     1 wrapping paper cutter - we were missing this...
     1 screw to a computer case

To summarize...
     8 milk jug rings
     7 cat toys
     4 striped catnip filled toys
     2 writing implements
     a lot of miscellaneous junk
     1 full sized snickers bar
     1 stick

And I was wondering where all the cat toys went...

Have a Merry Christmas!!

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